Risky and Rough Play: Why we support this at the Clubhouse
What is Risky Play?
Risky play tends to be more of a personal experience. It can be play where a child seeks to intensify an experience such as climbing to a higher height, balancing, jumping from equipment, hiding or secluding themselves from the eye line of adults.
Examples: playing frogger with someone on the swings, climbing on top of the equipment beyond what the equipment was designed for, jumping from the swings.
What is Rough Play?
Rough play tends to be more socially based, with multiple children engaged in the play. This type of play is often active, quick, and finds its beginnings in a variation of tag or chase games. It is physical play, think rough and tumble, or roughhousing where children are coming into contact with each other.
What is the developmental importance of both of these?
Risky and rough play have similar developmental importance. Children are learning to assess their own boundaries, develop a sense of their capabilities, and develop an understanding of others. By allowing time, space, and support of this play we are showing children we trust them. We want children to know they are capable beings who are in control of their own bodies. Ultimately, they are learning how to play safely.
Children can learn:
To develop self confidence and feel more in control of his or her actions and environment.
Resilience and persistence
To challenge their comfort zone and how it feels when you push your personal boundaries
Emotional regulation and learn how to confront potentially negative emotions, such as fear and anger
To set their own goals instead of looking for adults to tell them what to do.
Balance, coordination, and endurance
An awareness of capabilities/limits of their own bodies
The ability to assess and make proper judgment about risk
Understanding to consequences of certain actions
Strengthen self-esteem, physical development, emotional regulation
And honestly…Its fun! Sometimes it is just for the fun of it and they are seeking more and more fun. Because who doesn’t want to have fun.
Why does this play feel hard for grown ups?
Simple: we fear the fallout. Oftentimes, as adults, we can see the potential for it to go wrong over how it can go right. Take for example: When a child climbs to the top of equipment, maybe going on the outside of the railing instead of going up the steps and jumps off at the top. From the child’s perspective: they assessed their skills, felt comfortable, looked down and decided to jump- they challenged themselves to achieve and extend their skills. From the adult perspective: we see the potential for harm to their body, all the what if’s. What if they land wrong, what if they fall, what if...
Our desire to protect children from safe, risky and rough play can hinder the development of their skills. Notice we include the word safe: the true disclaimer is if a child is in imminent danger then the activity needs to be addressed not necessarily stopped. There is a difference between risky and a hazard. What makes it a hazard (something the child might not notice i.e a nail sticking out, a loose part that is going to snap etc) Risk is an opportunity for the child to figure out what they can do in the given situation.
But often, by simply asking the question: Do you feel safe? We can allow them to take a moment, assess their own safety and decide how to proceed. Self preservation kicks in and children will figure out what feels ok and not ok for their own safety. There will be a time in a child’s life when an adult is not standing closely, when the child will need to make a safe decision without adult intervention. Ultimately, we want children to know how to make safe choices and decisions whether an adult is watching or not. If we never allow them the freedom to experience this, then how do we expect them to learn it.
What can you do to support this type of play?
Oftentimes we (the adults) are the ones who are uncomfortable, and our discomfort is projected onto the child. Learning to take risks is an essential part of development. Your comfort with a risk is different then someone else’s, and that is OK.
Here are some ideas to support the child during risky or rough play?
Check in with yourself: check to see if this is your “stuff” or if the child truly needs support. If you are uncomfortable with the risk the child is taking, they will sense this. Danger should be addressed. If they are not in danger, be close by, in a supportive role.
Have conversations and set boundaries: in risky play and rough play children may still need boundaries to help them navigate safety and others until they master a skill. Include children in this process. These conversations are fluid, and can be adjusted as needed to reflect the play.
In rough play, they may need guided support on setting boundaries they all can agree on, and then following through with it. For example you can set up boundaries with the group playing to include specifics such as: during rough play it is ok to tackle but only from the front, if you say stop play stops immediately, and we shouldn’t grab people by their clothes.
In risky play the conversation can include checking in to see if the child feels safe or aware of the situation. For example: Children running between swings, check in with them to see if they are aware of the people on the swings, discuss the natural consequences of what will happen if they are hit by the swing. Then let them assess the situation and figure out how to proceed.
Choose your language, be intentional: Replace Be Careful with…
“Notice where you are”
“Check in with each other, is everyone ok with how this game is going”
“Be aware of your body”
“What’s your plan” or “What’s your idea”
“Do you feel safe or does your body feel safe”
“Are you ok with what’s happening”
Observe the child to see what their physical and emotional present levels are:
For risky play: can they climb unassisted, do they know how to jump with two feet, can they hang on the monkey bars and drop down or do they put their feet back on the step instead
For rough play: are they in control of their body during the play, are they listening to the other children when someone does set a boundary, do they stop when someone says stop.
Did you know at the Clubhouse we do not assist or place any child on any equipment (swings, monkey bars, zip line, ladders etc…)? Children should be able to independently climb onto and off of any equipment to control their own safety. If they can get on it independently, they should be able to navigate off of it as well. We will talk them through it, we will have peers who can do it make suggestions, and we will support them if they do get themselves into a place where they are unsure. Children should be able to learn the skill(s) they need for this. This is the beginning of how children learn to assess their own risk, build their body awareness, and develop a sense of what their body needs to accomplish physical tasks.